My Ambitions and God’s Timing

I recently got a really good idea, one that I was very excited about. I began to write out and make a plan for it. As I was contemplating the timing of the release of this new product and starting to work on it right away, I did something that I don’t typically do. And that is, I set a much later release date and gave myself much more time than I ordinarily would.

I heard a voice that I believe is God say, "You are not alone, Dominique." I’ve been thinking to myself, "Man, this independent woman, whichever amount is left, has to die." It was deeper than trying to be an independent woman who is married. The real issue was selfish ambition, and by the grace of God, I was delivered.

Interestingly enough, I had not been aware that selfish ambition is something I needed deliverance from. In fact, I didn’t see it as an issue at all. While I knew that selfish ambition is wrong, because of James 1 in the Bible, I was unaware that my pursuits, though good and of God, were being handled and executed from a place of selfish ambition, fear, and anxiety.

It’s amazing how many things we do intuitively, even as Christians, that are contrary to the faith yet expect biblical results. Scripture is clear, but the problem most times is that many of us are not reading the Scriptures to know this. The Bible speaks of selfish ambition being the reason that prayers don’t get answered.

I spent many years being a habitual procrastinator. I would have these very intense dreams from God warning against procrastination, and it took me a while to figure out that that is what the dreams meant. As God was dealing with me on procrastination and laziness and revealed to me the damage that it was producing in my life, I ran the other way.

In my efforts to no longer displease God in how I handle my responsibilities and to take better control over my life and time, I aimed to operate in diligence. However, I was often operating from a place of fear and anxiety and mistaking it for diligence. The question is, what is the motive behind the ambition? This is how we can identify whether or not we are operating in selfish ambition.

The dangers of being lazy and procrastinating are missed opportunities. Coincidentally, operating on the other extreme also causes you to miss opportunities. For a long time, working towards my dreams felt like I was pushing a door that said pull. I say this because it felt as though no matter the effort I exerted and the energy that I put into something, while I was moving, I saw that I was going nowhere, just wearing myself out.

I learned that this is because selfish ambition is a byproduct or a symptom of pride. The Bible says that God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble. It takes humility to do things God’s way. God’s way for us to execute the ideas He gives us is that it be done in order and structure, not at the expense of our other responsibilities and not out of fear and anxiety.

As I was reflecting on the difference in my mindset and approach towards executing ideas, I was wondering, or trying to recall, how this deliverance has come about. I believe that this deliverance came about from a decision that I made that was the catalyst. That decision was to not push everything aside to choose the fashion calendar to put out a new collection or to yield to the pressure in my fashion brand.

This may seem like nonsense and not wisdom. But to the spiritual who recognize the importance of growth in your character, in the work of sanctification or perfecting that God is doing in you, understand that these types of decisions have more to do with overall success than selfish personal success.